she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
