You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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