Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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