I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
