i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
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