I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
