We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Randomize
