That's intense
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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