hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
