How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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