Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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