a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
