somebody snuck up and got me drunk
The best revenge is premature balding
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
