And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize