i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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