winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
