Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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