Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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