why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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