Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
