then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize