Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
