so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
