I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.