my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!