no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
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My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?