The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."