its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.