we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?