She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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