I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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