There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize