I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
