It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
