I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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