What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize