she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
