I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
