found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize