We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize