Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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