Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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