No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
