so that wasnt chicken after all
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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