I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
