wakey wakey hands off snakey
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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