so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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