He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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