YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
tonight lets celebrate not being married
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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