K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize