Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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