Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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