so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
