This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
