He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
