Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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