Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
