All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
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STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
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he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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