There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize