I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
there is glitter all over my balls
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
