i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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