omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
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also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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