8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize