Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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