the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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