What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
